How can you assess whether you’re making a strategic choice to avoid a
difficult conversation or just chickening out? Here are 11 questions
designed to help you consider what to say, delay, or skip:
- Based on what I know about this person and our relationship, what
can I realistically hope to achieve by having the conversation? - What is my “secret agenda” or “hidden hope” for this conversation? (Long-term harmony? Revenge? That they will change?)
- What concrete examples do I have to share of how this issue has shown up?
- What’s my contribution to the situation?
- Do I tend to look for problems with this person or about this issue?
- Is it already starting to resolve itself?
- How long ago did it arise? Is it a repeat or recurring problem? Could it become one?
- How “material” is the issue to our relationship or to the job?
- How committed am I to being “right”?
- What reasonable, actionable solution can I offer?
- Is this the right person to talk to about this issue?
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